Wednesday, August 1, 2007   RETURN TO TOP

GREEN TOILET PAPER TO HIT THE MARKET

Johnson & Johnson is introducing a new "green" product based on the personal habits of singer-songwriter, Sheryl Crow.

The executives at Johnson & Johnson have long been looking for a way to "green up" their lineup of personal products. They learned through the Live Earth concerts that Sheryl Crow has a way to reduce paper waste by painstakingly cutting individual sheets of toilet paper into 5/8" fingertip sized squares for use in her washroom.

Rather than using several sheets of regular toilet paper in the washroom, Sheryl simply wets her fingertip & picks one of the 5/8" squares to finish up. "I've never been a big dumper, so these work perfect for me." says Sheryl, who got the idea one day while moving her bowels once a week.

"A dime-sized kibble is about all I can manage over a weeks time & it made no sense to use a whole square of tp. People that crap more than I do are simply over-eating & that's not a green way to live" she pontificates. Johnson & Johnson plans to sell these squares in the same metal boxes that Altoids breath mints come in.

--Mike Landisberg

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Hit your favorite news website, or turn on CNN or Fox News for updates.

We know very little except this happened during rush hour, or a little after.

More to come...

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In yet another classic example of his extremism and irrational state, Jim Stachowiak of freedom fighter radio is calling for the shooting of police officers. Knowing that he will probably lie about this (like he lies about everything else), we took the liberty of securing a screen capture.

Of course, he will probably deny it anyway.

We invite our hundreds of readers to contact Blogger and inquire whether or not they wish to continue hosting someone who is now calling for the murder of Police Officers.

I try to make it a point to avoid talking about this moonbat, but this especially egregious position cannot go unanswered. Do what you feel led to do. We are extremely saddened by such outrageous behavior by a supposed conservative.

Most important to point out is that there are some extreme leftwing online griefers who are helping Jim and supporting his efforts to post such things. We can only believe that they are doing this to the detriment of conservatives who know how to argue without going off the edge, as Jim appears to have done.

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