A NEWT ONION

The Challenge: To write a speech for Barack Obama

Jimmy Z -  I wanted to see if I could write a speech inspiring enough, and vague enough, for Barack to use at a campaign stop. I think I nailed it. I would enjoy your opinions as well.

Good evening. Tonight, we stand together, not as individuals, but as one people.  We are joined together not by our race, nor by our religious beliefs. We are here together, as one, facing forward with a revived hope for change.

Our movement is not one of division. We have no interest in the divisive politics of the past. We are interested only in changing America's future with unfied hope and cooperative optimism. We have arrived at our time of beginning; this is our awakening! The promise of our forefathers has finally been realized as we move with hope toward a glorious future of inspired change.

My friends, men and women have come together; black, white, red, brown and yellow have come together; Christian, Jew, Muslim and Buddhist have come together - as never before - for the future or our country. The political battles of yesterday are in the past. The hope for national unity is a dream no longer; it is a concept coming into fruition. The expectation of continuity has motivated Americans to come together like no time in recent memory. This is our time!

Collectively, we bring our strengths together; as those who were separate converge, we gain more momentum. As momentum increases, we have more hope. As hope increases, we have more ability to change the future for your children, for my children, for all children. They are our future, and we bring them hope for change.

Today, we have the hope for a new tomorrow! Tomorrow we change the future! And the future of hope is a change in what was previous; history is our past, and change is our future.  May you join me as we hope our way into changing the future for all Americans! Thank you my friends, and goodnight!